Once upon a time, there was a country, powerful and great. The sky was the limit…this country feared God and built around God’s name and what the Bible stood for:

In those days, men came together to discuss religion. They talked amongst each other and debated over Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit, the commandments, and so much more. What a sad day it is when out of love, we try to help someone we care about, and the best the family can do is yell and make threats.

…I will not, I will no longer allow Ah-Satan to stand accusing me. I cannot be a closet christian any longer. I refuse to allow him to use my past sins against me. To try and keep me quiet, like a politician, bottled up in his own fears of his past fearful and afraid to reach out to the ones I love:

Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart

1 Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

I apologize if I offend those who I love. I am trying to walk with God, please rebuke me when I fall. Although it may hurt, I will still love you. Perhaps, someday we can sit and have tea together and discuss our Creator who waits for us…